Emotions

I'm so angry all the time and I don't know what to do against that. I'm angry to be angry too. I don't know where I'm at ... I'm so divided on so many things ! I'm sad and angry at the same time, I want to scream, to cry my pain out. I feel bad, defiled, tensed, stressed, demotivated. I want people to see my pain so they can help me. I need help, to be saved.

In an other way, I want to be happy, to find my smile back. It's like it's blocked underneath and don't want to come out. I don't know how we do it again (be happy). I'm not excited by anything. Even when something good happens to me, I don't find it marvellous. I want to live, to feel beautiful things, to feel free, I want to breathe again.

For now, I just feel like I'm holding my breathe.